Indra’s Drishtikona (Viewpoint)

Mothers Fast For Sons

Posted : September 27, 2005 at 7:07 am [IST]

September 25, 2005 was the day when all mothers in Bihar and Eastern UP would have been on fast without even a drop of water for more than 24 hours for the well being of their sons. ‘Jiutiyaa’ in Bhojpuri dialect is also known as ‘Jimootbahan Vrat’. Jimootbahan was the Son of God Sun. It is an age-old practice of fast. It would have started in rural habitations many years ago. Normally as one of the ritual, the women narrate some stories just like the Panchtantra ones, where the casts are animals and birds: one who fasts religiously, the other who can’t bear the hunger, deceits, and eats. Naturally, the one who could fast had all her son/s hale and hearty, while the son/s of the one who failed met immature death in the childhood itself. Perhaps, this was their rural prescription based on penance for improving on the very high child mortality those days. The fast also saves the sons from any accidental harm too and helps in bringing prosperity and happiness in their life.
My mother could never do any other fast on other auspicious dates of the year, but she never failed to do this. I was the only son.

And then a question comes in my mind why in Indian traditions only the elders fast, worship, and pray for their children, particularly for the males one. Why didn’t the tradition set some date for the sons to fast for their parents? Even the Western people are coming with new ideas for the elders and have started celebrating Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and also Grandparents Day. But in India the traditional love and care for the parents and grandparents are becoming part of old literary fictions only. And you can see even the worse all around. Old parents instead of getting some care from their children are getting so much troubled by them that the government is coming out with a bill to protect their interests.

‘Times of India’ of September11, 2005 reports:

“Just how much punishment will force a son or a grandson to take care of his old parents without it creating a rift in the family? The social justice ministry is deliberating the provisions to be inserted for the wards in The Older Persons (Maintenance, Care and Protection) Bill. Strong punishments could create bad blood in relationship. Can the solution be reached with persuasion? Is it because of communication gap or lack of understanding of the mutual problems of each party? Can reconciliation sort out the differences? The legislation will provide for a tribunal in every subdivision to entertain complaints from old persons and ensure their maintenance from their children. What should be the definition of the old age- 60, 65, 0r 75? The bill will also provide for a geriatric ward in every district hospital and at least one old age home in every district.”

Will that be a solution? Or can that be he only solution? Perhaps the solutions to the problem lie in educating children at school level. We in our primary schooling learnt the story of Sravan Kumar who carried his parents on his shoulders for pilgrimage. Dashratha- the father of Rama killed him by mistake. The old couple died because of the shock of the demise of the son, but before the death, they cursed Dashratha. No one today expects the son to follow Sravan Kumar or for that matter Yayati who offered his youth to his father when he asked for it. But at least they can be good with the parents and take care of them with loving words, even if some of their actions may be intolerable. After all they also tolerated many nuisance created by the sons.

Attitude must change. Parents don’t only need maintenance or monetary support, but require some time and care from their children. They wish to live in the company of the grandchildren. They wish to share the joy of the achievement of their sons. They see their dreams realized in their success. Why can’t the joint family be reconsidered? The subject doesn’t require debate. It requires realization.
Why can’t the children remember the nights that mother didn’t sleep as the son was sick and in pain? Why the same mother who does every thing in her physical capability for her children is pushed out and forced to live in old-age homes? Can’t that be avoided? Is that the solution? Why can’t the children learn this simple lesson? Will they not come to this situation?

On 24 September is also the death anniversary of my father. On this day and for that matter, all-important dates, such as birthdays and marriage anniversaries, we go to ‘Anand Niketan Bridha Sevasharma’, an old age home in Noida. We just try to give some small amount as charity there, as we find that the best place to put the charity in. I look at the old men and women. I feel bad about it. Many of them were very well off during their active lives.

And sometimes I think was Shakespeare wrong when he wrote, ‘And life’s greatest gift is the wisdom of old age’? And can’t we remember?
Life is too short to be selfish. Let’s put our petty selves aside, more so if they are your own ones who were so dear to you one day.

- Indra

Category: Religious/Social issues |